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This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: "What was that for?" Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?" Man: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?, Marylou was the name of one of the horse I bet on." The Wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. Man: "What the hell was that for this time?" Wife: "Your horse called."

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening. When the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down pas the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past that side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped rolled over and started to watch the tv. As she had become quuite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Whey did you stop ? " He said, "I found the remote".

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